“The ideas I stand for are not mine. I borrowed them from Socrates. I swiped them from Chesterfield. I stole them from Jesus. And I put them in a book. If you don’t like their rules, whose would you use?” Carnegie
Dale Carnegie is a successful business personal lived until 1955 and showed the way to success in his best-selling books. “How To Win Friends and Influence People” is his one of his hits and sold more than 30 million copies and still selling is a state of art self guide to improve one’s social skills.
1. Create your own emotions.
“If you want to be enthusiastic, act enthusiastic.”
What ever emotion you would like to have in your self and others be at the initiator stance and not at receivers end. You start it and many will follow.
2. It’s not so much about the logical stuff.
“When dealing with people, remember you are not dealing with creatures of logic, but creatures of emotion.”
People follow their heart first than their head. Emotions is the first thing everyone receive when they are talked to, the logical part in the conversation is second to them. Tone in your voice, your body language will do the half of your talking.
3. Three things you are better off avoiding.
“Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain but it takes character and self control to be understanding and forgiving.”
These 3 C’s are full of negative emotions and will do no good for anyone.
4. What is most important?
“The royal road to a man’s heart is to talk to him about the things he treasures most.”
What ever a man do or talk he has a center for all his actions and it is what he doing all the work for. That thing is the core and you touched it you have him by your side.
Focus out, not in.
“You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.”
If you want to make more friends the thumb rule is try to know them more than try to express about yourself.
6. Take control of your emotions.
“The person who seeks all their applause from outside has their happiness in another’s keeping.”
Be self contended and avoid assessing your self with external validation.
7. No, they are not holding you back.
“Instead of worrying about what people say of you, why not spend time trying to accomplish something they will admire.”
Caring too much about what people think will create and feed imaginary monsters within your mind. You may for instance think that people will condemn you if you try something. Maybe they will. But most of the time people are thinking about their own challenges and ups and downs. They just don’t care that much about what you do.
8. So, what’s in it for me?
“There is only one way… to get anybody to do anything. And that is by making the other person want to do it.”
9. How to win an argument.
“The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.”
10. It’s about more than your words.
“There are four ways, and only four ways, in which we have contact with the world. We are evaluated and classified by these four contacts: what we do, how we look, what we say, and how we say it.”
Practice these rules and you will know it by heart that they are working. As I mentioned at the top of the article, these are simple rules used by successful people for thousand’s of years. Happy Social life. If you like the article share it with friends 🙂